we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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