My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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