Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
