he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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