Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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