I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
40s are totally the cure
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
