Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
