4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
