I can tuck mytits in my pants
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
