eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
