I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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