He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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