Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
