I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
