my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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