You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
