these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
What a dumb baby whore.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
