Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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