The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
