He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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