There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
