Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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