Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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