Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
someone owes me an orgasm
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I need a beard to bite.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
