Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
well I can't set my house on fire every night
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
