Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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