Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
