I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
