he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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