nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
