I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
