did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
