what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
