Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He? As in you personified your dick?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
