You just made me feel so damn special
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
