Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
