Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
where are you?
Hypothermia
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
