literally had 100 drinks last night.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
