two words: eviction party
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
