Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You're like the curious george of whores
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
