Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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