i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Semen is not good for contacts.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
