I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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