we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Can you bring me the toilet please
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
