Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
