I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
