Just cropdusted the office
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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