You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
