i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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