and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
