Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
FUCK WHALES
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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