i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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