Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
