its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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