so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize